Friday, May 28, 2010

Why I Broke Up With Facebook

I'm not a Communist, Socialist, Democrat or Republican. I could never identify with the tea-party or totally support Libertarians. However when it comes to not being affiliated with Facebook I feel as though I've pledged to belong to a certain group that is clearly for certain things and against other things.

What I'm for is peace of mind, knowing true intimacy with my good friends, having privacy and autonomy in my chosen ways on the internet and spending time on what's important to my life.

What I'm against is having details of my life hacked into by strangers in France and China, seeing what old high school friends children like to eat for lunch, getting into political debates with friends of friends, being exposed to family craziness, and knowing what everyone is thinking about everything.

Initially Facebook was very seductive when I joined it over a year ago. People who I had been thinking of off and on for years were not only still alive but there was a chance to catch up and maybe even rekindle friendships. Family members who live far away could fill me in on their lives and maybe we could get to know each other in a more genuine way. Former flames could be apologized to. There was a feeling of possibility and FB was the ripe fruit to pluck for opportunities of communication.

Eventually I came to find out old high school friends were meant to be old friends, family members were still not that interesting, the ex's were still simply ex's and didn't become re-new found friends. Worse was that former work contacts bombarded my FB world with their articles on 3rd world poverty, ex's of mine or my spouses liked to let me know their scores in some virtual world or game, old friends were just as sad or mad or depressing as they had been when I knew them. And fights broke out among a number of peoples about things we cannot immediately change. There was little serenity for me because all these folks were a mirror to my own inner chaos and there are plenty of those mirrors all around the minute I step out of my house. I don't need to log on to a website for more of that.

There were good things about Facebook for me like getting to see photos of one of my BFF's honeymoon in Ireland or connecting with my cousin Carla or seeing that that one guy who broke my heart in high school is now unattractive and boring. I am grateful to FB for all that. And truthfully I'm open to the possibility of being an FB member again, but my approach will be different and perhaps I'll have to be different. Just like I know that I'm not mature enough to have credit cards, I'm not mature enough for social networking.

So here I am, back at my e-roots of blogging. Here folks can tune in or tune out and no one gets to start any political fights in this e-space unless I allow it. Call me controlling but instead of an electronic book of faces I have an electronic notepad of ideas, hopes and experiences that in the end only reflects myself to me.

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